Success

I got in.

I'm going to be a doctor. 

It is a very surreal feeling - its taken me more than 2 months to process it enough to actually want to write this post. At first it felt illusory - it was just a bit too good to be true. Then I was terrified and intimidated by the connotations and practicalities - 'I'm never allowed to make a stupid mistake again' and 'wow I am going to be in SO much debt'. But now finally I am happy. Far more than happy, I am thrilled! Absolutely fulled to brim with boundless enthusiasm for the rest of my life. 

I'd done my research (a lot of researcher!) and I knew what I was letting myself in for with the debt, the dramatic lifestyle change, the reality of 10 more years of official studying and a lifetime of learning but your feelings towards these change dramatically when they suddenly morph from a mere  possibility in the future to an imminent reality. A fantastic open day at the Uni addressed every single one of these worries with constructive solutions and since then it's been smooth sailing. 

There is a tremendous satisfaction in wanting something for a very long time, working out what you need to do achieve it, implementing those measures, and finally, after a lot of hard work, achieving exactly what you wanted. Even more so when you're been born into a family who although loving and supportive in every way, aren't able to offer the privileged advantages, financial support and guidance which many of your competitors will have revived.  It was not at all easy but I'm proud to be able to say that this is something I did for myself and it's going to be so very worth it. 

Rome

Way, way back, on a drizzly November day me and my pal were contemplating the Italian Society trip to Rome. Blighted by low funds and the thought of missing the first week of the revision filled Easter break, we'd debated whether it was sensible and whether it'd be worth it. Fast forward 5 months to us blinking in the balmy warm sunshine, standing outside the Colosseum, having left a chilly England just hours before and neither of us were doubting that this was an excellent decision! It was only 3 days but my word did we see a lot of the city, eat a lot of pizza and soak up a lot of well needed sunshine. Although a bit knackered afterwards, the change had refreshed us ready to settled down and revise!

Washing Up Musings

It's always in those gentler parts of the day that big thoughts sneak up on you, in the shower, folding laundry or in this case, washing up. As I was steadily scrubbing and plunging through the pile of dirty dishes and watching the steam from the clean ones wisp away in the drainer, it occurred to me that this week a decision was going to made that could affect the course of my life forever. On Thursday I'm due (if they are running on time) to hear back from my medical school interview, telling me whether or not I have a place. If I'm fortunate enough get one, then the fork in the road in my mental image of my future, would no longer be a fork. With the click of an email I would go from not having any clue what kind of job I might do, where I might work, what I might spend my twenties doing, to knowing that I will qualify at 26, spend 2 years in training and then (most likely) work as a medical practitioner for the rest of my life. That's a big change from blank. Of course if I don't get in then nothing's changed, I work hard at my degree, I try again next year, still no and I choose from a bounty of other careers clamouring for me to fall in love with them. Still, if it's a yes then it's a very exciting start to an entirely new type of life. Big thoughts indeed for a hands in the suds session; it took me by surprise. 

Freedom

It's funny but you'd never think of an ordinary play room, warm and cosy from the ceaseless sheets of rain splattering the windows, would epitomise freedom. You try to define freedom and you think of rolling hills sprinkled with wild flowers, you think of eager nations bursting free from the shackles of oppression, maybe you get philosophical and talk about the ability to make free choices but you definitely do not think of a play room, with a fresh cream cheese stain on the carpet, that's located in suburban Surrey. And yet, on this afternoon that's exactly what it contained. As a little family of 3 we sat and played games with pre loved toys, we laughed and chattered and appreciated each others company. By choosing to stay in for the day we were free from the endless tug of consumerism, we were free others' judgement of more unorthodox parenting styles, but most importantly we were free to be completely ourselves. My perception of freedom has changed - it no longer feels like a physical entity personified by an open road but it is more a state of mind shared between company. A mindset that is open and free to enjoy the present, accepting of what is around but also liberated from unnecessary wants or desires. It's a refreshing way to spend time with people but is surely hard to find away from the unconditional love of family?

Playing 'how many balls can you catch in the curtains'

Snow Day

It Would Appear

It would appear that indoor sparklers and bed linen do not mix well. 

 It would also appear that purple ink fountain pens have similar negative feelings towards said bed linen as the indoor sparklers. 

But most importantly, it would appear that a certain someone and other house mates' bed linen have the longest history of poor mixing and this should be avoided at all costs during future endeavours.  

My Daffodil

My lovely Dad bought me these after my interview yesterday. He's the only one to bloom so far. Sitting on my desk I see him as I work, before I go to sleep and when I wake up. It seems strange how he fills me with so much happiness; I think it's the intensity of his yellow and the way he cranes his head towards the light in a was that is full of desperation and determined defiance at the same time.

Takeaway Trade-In

I must confess, there are times when I do love a take away. You must understand not every night, I love to cook far more than I enjoy takeaways, but then there's the mess and the defrosting and when it's a Friday, I want nothing more than for someone to bring me a plate of nice dinner before I crash. This is a tradition that we started in exam time, when I feel we were perfectly justified to our Friday takeaway for four weeks, but it did develop into a dangerous habit last term. It's an expensive, unhealthy and non fulfilling habit (lets face it, those chinese's never taste as good as you think they're going to be) that leaves you ridiculously thirsty, a gradual accumulation of unwanted fat and empty pockets. Thus, this evening I beat of that urge and defeat it with a home made treat of my own. It turns out that fresh, friendly fish monger herring, coated in my Nan's batter recipe, with some fresh spring greens and a few home-made chips is far more fulfilling than its bought counterpart. Next week - I think I'll attempt a curry. 

The Importance of Cosy . .

. . . should never be underestimated. 

Soft Play

Funny how the fun of it never wears off no matter how old you get:

You might notice that there's been an outfit change in these pictures. Well yes, we did do two lots of soft playing in two days - one play session just isn't enough after a 10 year break! 

Toothpaste Kisses

In this student world that is devoid of parental ''goodnight''s or evening routines, it's lovely having a buddy around to end the day with. We finish our chats, we pad upstairs, we squish a toothpaste blob out, have a very quiet little chat whilst we brush and then the last thing you see before turning in for the night is a smiley face, grateful for your presence and wishing you a pleasant nice. It's one of my favourite luxuries in this life. 

That Smell In The Fridge

Why is it that in student houses there is always 'that smell in the fridge'? As students go I'd say we were pretty clean. Messy, yes, dirty no. Our fridge gets cleaned normally once a week, so how is it so that in that time it's able to breed this odour that, at the right concentration, could quite easily be weaponised? Who knows?
I guess the only thing for it is to scrub it out and try again next week.

Three

New birthday. New bumblebee costume. New pregnancy. Same lovely family moments.

Same thrill at opening new presents.

New piano skills learnt from Mama.

(except maybe the burp he did down the microphone,

though on second thoughts. . . )

Same outstanding desert.

(my sister and I were never allowed ice cream and sauce as kids - to us this is heaven!) 

New reasoning skills acquired.

(''oh no don't worry Mummy I'll just put them both on'')

New baby grow

(looking good sonny, did a favourite Auntie buy you that? 

They must have exceedingly good taste in clothes and learning institutions) 

New 'Oooooooo' as the Belle cake is brought in.

Same moments of family bonding.

Same gratuitous cute shots. 

Better Late Than Never

There's just 5 more months of Uni left, 4 if you omit the Easter break spent at home. There has been a palpable change in tone this year. Everything's become more loaded, so much more serious. We have fewer adventures and study more put simply. Also, though I never thought I'd think it, it some ways we've grown up too. We've lived together for three years now and after so long the bond has changed. We still laugh and talk but we've also reaching that wonderful stage where we can just be. Just sit there in each others company doing our own thing, not interacting but just being in each others silence. It's nice. I'm very grateful for my little Uni family but it has also made us become complacent. In 5 months time we'll separate and move on with out lives and at the moment I think we're all just a bit too tiered and a bit too focused on just getting this next deadline out of the way to notice that. It's not that we'll never see each other again, just that we'll never live together in quite the same close situation. Last term we didn't get time to have a Christmas dinner but we couldn't let that go and not share this meal together. Have all of us sit down for one evening and talk and share food. We did and it was lovely. Admittedly we feasted on a roast that wasn't one of my best and watched bad T.V., not talking but being, but I think we were all so knackered it's just what we needed and it doesn't matter that people splintered off to work afterwards, it mattered that we'd done it. I guess it's a homage to how blaze these things have become that I only bothered to take 2 pictures.

Not a good picture but everyone's there and that's that matters.

Goodbye

She was a pre-loved hamster, only meant to make it to 18 months but managed 25. I'd taken her to the vets with a tumour, she was only meant to last a few more days but went on 6 weeks. I know she couldn't have had a better life more enriched life, and I also know that it was right for her to go before she was in pain but it didn't make it any easier to say goodbye. She's kept me company when I was all alone, comforted me from homesickness with her delicate snuffles in the nightime and kept me so entertained with her merry japes and crazy cage acrobatics. She'll be a pet whose sorely missed.

The X Factor

Things have been pretty crazy for us this year. Ever since we won the competition back in July, doors have been opened for us that we never would have imagine possible. Friday evening, whilst preparing for the first of our 2 charity Christmas concerts a phone call came through asking if we could sing backing for the X Factor on the semi-final on Sunday and the final results in a weeks time in Wembley Arena. Being the president of the choir meant that it was a bit of a nightmare in terms of logistics. To randomly select that many people, get them security cleared and ready for wardrobe whilst still organising the other charity concert meant some very late nights but what an opportunity!

So for those of you who saw the X Factor on Sunday, that was us, bobbing along in the background dressed in black. If not, have a butchers:

It was an amazing day but I was just so surprised at how well we were treated. I expected it to be the kind of show where we were very much bottom of the food chain but instead we were treated like artists, and received the utmost respect and every conceivable amenity throughout the day.  I think it's a memory that so many of our members will treasure forever:

Monopoly

Has there ever been a game of Monopoly that hasn't ended in arguements? The dice ended up being thrown across the table at the alleged cheater. I now remember why we haven't played this for so long . . .

Lemon Tart

I have always failed at bind baking. I've got the beads, I've got the paper, I've got the books but still I had bumps. That is until now:

Rachel Allen you wonderful woman! Your recipe has changed everything!

Zesty Lemon Tart, works like a charm every time!

On Your Skates!

I absolutely adore roller blading. The krrrr of the wheels on tarmac, the thrill of whizzing down a hill and thinking you're going to fall and die, even the raw ankle bones. I love it all. Alas, until recently, I've had to be a closet blader. There seems to be an unfortunately large amount of stigmatism for carrying on such joys in ones twenties and I'm not brave enough to go on my own, when if I fall over and can't get up? However, now I have an ally and the thrill is back! We spent our nippy November Saturday avoiding the essays by whizzing round Virginia Water. Was great fun, especially with the added sport of avoiding friendly dogs on leads, children on scooters and patches of wet leaves.